Fly me to the Moon or to Never Never Land

Of the many things I have been called in my life, “a dreamer” is one of the most confounding ones. My first boyfriend called me a dreamer and at the time I’m pretty sure I either shrugged it off or I just agreed, not really thinking about the word or what he meant. Now, as I navigate my way through life, the more I realise I am a dreamer, and although it’s somewhat freeing, it also means I always feel like something is missing.

I imagine, whilst I’m sitting on the tube on my daily commute to work, that I can’t be the only person daydreaming about taking a different path in life. I can’t be the only person thinking about what the hell is missing. I suppose that’s something that connects us to each other. We all strive for something, a goal or a dream,in our lives and try to make connections along the way. But that shared cause doesn’t tie me to this world or to my little life so far.

[I do know what is important to me and what is not missing, in fact what is constant; my brother and my friends] I think it’s important to dream and work towards finding that missing piece, but equally it’s important to cherish what we have and what matters.

I don’t know if what is missing is a person, or is it an achievement in work or in something else? Is it an experience I have yet to go through? Is it an experience in a place I haven’t been to yet? For me, I know one day, way waaaaay into the future, what will be a most precious connection that will undeniably tie me to this world will be when I become a mama.

Still, I believe that there is something else. Some other purpose, some other reason why I have been put on this earth. Truth be told, I don’t necessarily do myself any favours all the time. I yo-yo between trying to make connections of value and intentionally disconnecting myself from things or people. Sometimes it’s just easier to detach and live in a daydream, for a bit. Fairies, extra-terrestrials, ghosts, spirits…..I believe in almost everything to some extent. I don’t really believe I will see a fairy but not because I think they may not exist, but because I’m a grown-up and children can see fairies and grown-ups cant. I share the somewhat William Blake-ish view that children are innocent and  more pure and, follow my huge leap, they are more open to other-worldly, mystical beings and notions….. Queue eye-roll.

So, here is a dreamer  who is walking around, somewhat aimlessly amongst other dreamers….who also believes in fairies. To be honest, I give zero fucks. I like to leave my mind and heart open to the unexplained, the unknown, the missing and the magical glimmer to an otherwise ordinary and all too real life.

Image courtesy of Pinterest

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